The Dadliest Cast
Dave & Garrett, 2 best friends, get together to talk about being dads, life, hobbies, and some other things.
The Dadliest Cast
The Unseen Battle: Confronting Shadows and Shaping Identity Part 2
Embark with me, Garrett, on a heartfelt expedition through the chapters of my life, where I uncover the layers of joy and sorrow that have meticulously crafted the person I am today. As inspired by the tenacity in David Goggins' "Can't Hurt Me," I excavate the core of my Pennsylvania upbringing, the sunny days splashing in our pool, and the invaluable lessons learned from the undulating path of school transitions. My narrative weaves together the tapestry of family ties, the embrace of community in the face of grief, and the resilience that blossoms from the soil of challenges faced head-on.
Take a seat at the table of my candid reflections as we traverse the teenage terrain of high school and the poignant moments when life seemed to stand still amid personal loss. I unfold the story of remaking a family and finding direction towards a career in architecture, showcasing the profound growth and the beautiful blend that time can bestow upon us. This chapter of my journey is an exploration of the intricate dance between holding on to the foundations of the past and stepping into the construction of a new, sturdy future.
As we crest the hill of early adulthood, I reveal the rollercoaster of navigating the economic downturn, the warmth of beginning a family, and the steadfast bonds of friendship that anchor us to unexpected harbors. My friend Dave will join us in a future conversation, contrasting our life paths, but for now, join me for a moment of levity with a classic dad joke to cap off this episode. Together, we celebrate the riveting adventure of life and the anticipation for the episodes that lie ahead, filled with shared stories and discoveries that continue to shape our world.
All right. Hello everyone out there. It's Garrett checking in with you here. One half of the staff here at the Deadliest Cast. Good morning, good afternoon or good evening, whatever it may be where you are listening right now. Why am I by myself?
Speaker 1:Don't panic, dave's okay, his eyes are going well, but there's this book out here. The book is called Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins, and Dave's reading through it and he came across a challenge in this book. There's a lot of different things in the book challenges and what not to in the book but this challenge was basically to take a step back and more or less reflect on where you came from, where you are, how you got there. Basically, take a good hard look at some challenges you faced along the way and basically just be thankful for the things that went well, things that went right, what did you learn from things that were hard challenges you faced along the way and just sort of reflect on it and see how far you've come. Also, don't get caught up in the things that went wrong or don't let your mistakes or bad experiences define you. Basically, a way to overcome and take ownership of your life experiences. So Dave recorded part one. Hopefully you've gave it a listen, told you his story, things that he's been through. And here is part two where I'm going to take a quick minute here to sort of go through a similar story, sort of where I came from and things that happened to me along the way. So I'm going to do my best to get through this. You'll have to forgive me, I am a little sniffly here fighting the sinus bug that's going around, so I'll try my best not to cough on you guys during this. But I guess you could say it all started on a sunny September day about 43 years ago or so.
Speaker 1:I was born in a hospital just north of Pennsylvania, north of Pittsburgh, pennsylvania rather and the first of two children that my parents had. That was about four I believe, maybe almost five, when my brother came along. So mother was a teacher, taught second grade for a very long time, and my father was in sales Automotive industry, worked at a few different stores in the area, was management for a while, is retired now. So overall I remember a very happy childhood. I went to a small Catholic school just north of Pittsburgh and when I say small I mean he might be lucky to have 20 kids in your class and I remember really enjoying school when growing up I was in kindergarten, like I said, when my brother was born we got along great growing up. Of course you know kids be kids and there was always, you know, boys being boys, but very lucky that we had each other. And then we got along the way we did and still do to this day.
Speaker 1:The house I grew up in had a giant swimming pool in the backyard At least giant, it seemed giant to a eight or nine year old. But we didn't do a lot of vacations growing up in the summer. But I do remember one summer going to Niagara Falls. I think it was the coolest thing Because we actually got to stay in Canada. You know, pre COVID, pre 9-11, you're talking the late 80s you could travel back and forth to Canada. You know no one would even give you a second look. You know nowadays need a passport and go through customs and you know they check you all out leaving and coming back. So but at that time you know you could go back and forth pretty easily just driving across the bridge. So I remember that trip to Niagara Falls. I think I was pretty cool. So it came back with Canadian dollar bills and coins and things like that, and so we spent some time up there that summer, but largely our summers revolved around that giant pole in our backyard and pretty much from the day school that out through Labor Day when we went back to school. You know we were in that pole if the sun was out. And I especially remember one summer.
Speaker 1:My father was unemployed that summer and I remember that being like one of the greatest summers I could remember Because, you know, at the time being a kid, you don't realize, you know what unemployment and the stress that that brings, especially you know, when you got two kids in the house and a mortgage and you know this, that and the other thing. But I just remember that being the greatest summer because dad was home every day and we were swimming every day and cooking out. And you know, I remember, you know, despite being unemployed, we never really wanted for anything and you know, by that fall when we went back to school, he was back to work again. So but that's the biggest thing I remember about our childhood is, you know, we never, ever felt like we were missing anything, which is pretty cool Because we weren't by any means wealthy. But I guess they did a really good job of just budgeting with what was on hand and you know we were very fortunate in that regard.
Speaker 1:But you know, moving through school, great memories of elementary school, sixth grade I transferred out of the middle school or out of the elementary school in the middle school, public school, and there was a little bit of a getting used to period with that. You know, like I said, the elementary school was small, lucky if you had 20 kids in your class and to go to the public school. Well, while it wasn't one of the bigger districts school districts in the Pittsburgh area it was quite a bit bigger and there was probably more kids in my class and more in the entire elementary school put together where I came from. So that was a bit of an eye opening experience being a part of a class that large, which at this point I think about where my kids are at my daughter going into high school this year there's probably four times as many kids in her class alone as there was in the entire high school I went to at the time. So just perspective, it's kind of interesting.
Speaker 1:But the street I grew up on my grandmother lived right down the street, like five or six houses down, which was pretty cool because we always spent all days together and Birthdays and whatnot. But it was cool. You could walk down the street, you know. And once I was old enough and Spending summers cutting grass and earning a couple bucks, she definitely put me to work With some yard chores and grass cutting. I got cut her grass every every Week here every summer, probably from the time I was 10 till I graduated high school. So that was always cool. Get to go down, she'd make a lunch and I'd Be out in her yard cleaning up, working around cutting grass, other odd jobs Then push the mower home, end up cutting someone else's grass on my way home, and so it's cool. Save some money, earn some, earn some money and be in the kid.
Speaker 1:But Sixth grade I remember my mother was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and basically she was going to make a long story short her Body was attacking itself I guess is the best way to describe describe it and Now her autoimmune disorder. It was attacking her liver. So I Just remember, you know, a lot of trips to the doctor but not really fully comprehending what was going on on. You know, as kids you just think, oh well, time for another doctor's trip, time for another x-ray or you know, whatever the case may be, not fully comprehending what's going on, but kept moving on through middle school. Really nothing too memorable, nothing too out of line, like I said, for the most part of, I guess, what you would maybe consider a normal childhood, so to speak.
Speaker 1:But ninth grade, moving on to the high school, it's fun, think, sitting here thinking back at what it was like when I went to high school and then, you know, my daughter now started high school this year. Comparing, you know, the mid 90s to now, it's, it's kind of funny. You know we carried books around, she's got an iPad, you know, just things like that were where it's. It's so different. But ninth grade, pretty uneventful, made my way through the first year, high school, on the scales.
Speaker 1:For the most part, tenth grade probably is the year that that was the hardest. That was the year where my mother continually started to get sicker and now he has kids started to notice that hey, it wasn't just a lot of trips to a doctor, that's something. Something here isn't not really right and you know that was kind of scary. But I remember in may of that year it was Mother's Day. We all had a picture taken together on Mother's Day and I still have the picture hanging on the wall here and you know you talked to anyone in the medical field. They'll kind of tell you that right before things get really bad with someone health-wise, they tend to get really good for a short period of time and I remember after a after a long winter, thinking you know, mother's Day, thinking, boy, she's starting to look a little, look a little better, so maybe load us into a false sense of security there for a little bit. The very next weekend after Mother's Day she went to the hospital and very next weekend after that she passed.
Speaker 1:So I think I was 16, not yet 17, so I'd just gotten, was just in the process of getting a driver's permit license, so that would have made my brother maybe 13, maybe 12 actually, because I think he was. He had just started middle school, sixth grade at the time. So that was really the first Challenge, I guess, if you want to call it that, or first brush with adversity, so to speak, and and you know, very lucky at the time to have Amazing support system. It was towards the end of the school year, like I said, you know, two weeks, three weeks after Mother's Day. So I remember missing a week of school and then there was maybe like another week left before summer vacation and and I Remember teachers being very supportive like none of them made me take the finals for the classes that year.
Speaker 1:Just, you know a lot of support from the school and friends and but then school was out, you know, and, like I said, my father was in sales and anyone that knows Anything about retail, especially the automotive business, knows that the hours that you put in, or long, so you know my brother and I were left Left alone maliciously, but you know it's being a single parent. You got to go to work, you know. So, again, look back on my grandmother being right down the street. That was Invaluable during that first summer, being able to Walk down the street if we needed something, or, you know, dinner was always made and it was just Very comforting. You know we were pretty self-sufficient kids, you know. And I don't know, you know, being a single parent, you know I don't think easy is ever a word you'd use. I Couldn't imagine being a single parent right now, but you know we were pretty self-sufficient kids. So I Like to think we hopefully made it a little bit easier. You know that we were able to get our own lunch and, you know, keep ourselves entertained at like 17 and 13 years old. But yeah, so high school carried on. So I graduated In 1999.
Speaker 1:In high school school in general I always come pretty easy to me and I don't claim to be any type of genius at all and by no means was Validictorian or even close in whatever rankings those are. But I didn't have to put a lot of effort in, always got good grades fairly easily, you know, did as much studying as I had to, but it wasn't, it wasn't like schoolwork had to consume my free time, generally caught on to things fairly easy. And you know I graduated high school with no, no real academic issues at all. I had for most of my life up until that point. You know when they ask you what you want to be when you grow up. At some point in time in elementary school I designed, decided I wanted to design houses and as I got older Was able to connect the dots and realize that that meant, you know, architects design buildings. So I had it in my mind that that's what I was going to do for a long time. So I applied to several schools and Was accepted a Kent Kent State University which, living north of Pittsburgh, was an hour or two, maybe probably not even across the border of into Ohio, and so that's where I ended up going to school.
Speaker 1:In the meantime a father met a, was introduced to her, met a lady, and they got remarried. And I'm not gonna say there wasn't growing pains, but you know, and I'm not gonna say any one of us thought he'd be by himself forever because that would be unfair. But she Definitely, looking back from a more mature point of view now, definitely was was one of the greatest things to happen In that time period, the fact that he was not alone. You know, I'm leaving the house, going to school, my brother's getting older, so so, yeah, that was like I said, there were some growing pains and I think everyone would admit that. But I Think now, looking back, we all do, we all, we're all pretty good together and I appreciate the fact that he's happy and has been happy since day one, and I appreciate the fact that we've all grown together and and, like I said, well, there were some Growing pains and adjustments and I mean you got to look at it from her standpoint too.
Speaker 1:You know, when you're dating someone you're normally not dating an entire family and that's a challenge, I think, especially someone who didn't have any kids. I've been living alone for a while. You know you get into your habits and your and your routines and you know, suddenly, your that all that all changes. You know we had our routines and things we did to take care of ourselves and whatnot. You know dad was at work, we were looking, looking after ourselves. She had routines because she lived by herself. So she went to work and you know, and now you take all of that and you mash it all together. Definitely, definitely growing pains, challenges and adjustments but, like I said, I think we've all come through that and Are all Definitely better for it learned a lot and you know, like I said, definitely a happy, blended Family that I could be proud of.
Speaker 1:So, like I said, back to college, went to Kent State, started my freshman year there in the fall of 99 and, like I said, had been planning forever and ever to be an architect and Remember getting pretty good grades that first year In the math and sciences and whatnot that that were required. But I also remember that freshman year design studio running into a Professor that absolutely broke my enthusiasm for the, for the occupation and Pretty much from day one, had me questioning whether or not I made the right decision and Ultimately Took all the fun out of Learning in his class was a large class, in fact, there was probably close to a hundred students in the class and we were divided up in groups of 20 to 25 and it was For, I think, four or five professors and charge of that class. So I drew this guy and I won't name him on here. He may still be teaching, he might not be, I don't know, but they taught as a whole to the whole class and then broke up into the smaller groups for Individual sessions. And I just remember After the first week thinking, what have I done? There is no way that that this is gonna work out. And you know, this guy was so critical of everything and the first project we did, I Got a D. Now, like I said, I'm at your school. Middle school, high school, never really had academic issues and that D shattered me first D I ever got in my entire life.
Speaker 1:And at that point I pretty much decided, based on my interactions with this professor and the way this class was going, that I had made a huge mistake and there was no way that I was ever gonna make this work. And I Dropped out of the major in the second semester and so the spring semester was just a I don't know if you'd call it a general studies or or whatnot, but that was it. I was done, made a decision, never looked back and spent spring semester, just you know, in an English class, a geography class, a math class, a history class. And that summer, after the second semester, for the first year was over, I Transferred to the University of Pittsburgh, closer to home, and I went into computer science. I figured, hey, I'm good at computers. It's the late 90s, early 2000s, computers are just starting to Take off and become a thing and you know the internet is blossoming. Maybe that's what I should make a career out of.
Speaker 1:So I transferred the University of Pittsburgh and I remember Sitting in the math class, mad, that I had to take it because I took the math class at Kent and when you transfer some things, credits transfer, some credits don't. And I remember the credit they wouldn't accept Was my math class. So I had to take it again and I remember being so upset that I had to take it again. But I figured out, I got an A in the math class at Kent. How bad could it possibly be? So I started skipping classes and started, you know, only showing up for test days. And Before I knew it, not only was it the calculus class that I was skipping, I wasn't going to chemistry, I wasn't going to you know another class, and One thing leads to another. And to spring semester.
Speaker 1:Basically, the University of Pittsburgh and myself were under the understanding that I wasn't going to be back for a sophomore year, and I remember being just Beside myself like what am I gonna do? Is crazy. Another horrible mistake Left a degree I thought I was destined for because of a Way a professor taught a class Transferred to what I thought was the next best thing. I Made a mess of that. So I started washing cars that summer at the dealership that my father was working at, and Fall was coming up and you know, at that point it became apparent to family that I wasn't also going to go back for a sophomore year at Pitt. And you know I'm kind of at a crossroads here. What am I going to do? I certainly can't wash cars for the rest of my life Doesn't look like education is going to be an easy Recovery from that.
Speaker 1:So, like I said, fall of 2001, if you can think back to then, you know the internet being and it's I don't want to say infancy, but definitely early on, you know, half of the car stores around, car dealerships around, didn't have a website, if you can imagine that, and Basically the store I was working at was in the process of launching it's first website. So the dealer group that owned it Was looking for computer savvy people to help administer, update, you know, fill with fill the website with content. So I Kind of raised my hand for that and said, hey, I think I can do that. So that that's where I went from there and it was pretty cool, sort of building something from the ground up, and I cut on to it real fast, you know, being already pretty computer, a little bit at a computer literate. Rather, at that point Most of the guys that were taking it on were Car guys, you know, not so tech savvy.
Speaker 1:So you know I kind of stood out of the crowd at that point and just started doing the web maintenance and running this one in the website and filling it up with information and pictures and and Whatever else you could imagine on our website in the early 2000s. You know, websites obviously today are full of video and interactive content and but we're pretty basic back then. So, but it was fun and I was earning money and it kind of softened the blow of, you know, making the mistakes in school. Yeah, it was kind of computer related and you know I told myself, look, I can do this and didn't have to spend thousands of dollars on a degree. You know how bad could it possibly be right? So Next thing that came along on the website but rather than just Putting pictures and stuff up was, you know, customers started to Click on things and they started to submit Questions. You know, hey, how do I buy this, or can I buy that, or is this available? And so I went from Just being like a content web master, so to speak, to actually interacting with people and Helping them Buy cars by parts and accessories, schedule service appointments and what not. That's what it started to grow as a Position, an actual position in the store, as somebody to maintain the website and interact with the store's customers, which was fun During this time, by the way, dating my now wife and going out with her and having a good time and Really starting to, I guess, grow up, so to speak, couple years in into this position.
Speaker 1:You know she's in nursing school, so we get apartment together. While she's going to nursing school I'm doing this web work and you know she graduates with a or there are in. And Then a position opened up at work where I started to be able to learn more about, say, financing vehicles and auto loans and Assisting customers in that way. So I kind of moved on from the web world to the actual retail sales world in the store and Was able to start helping customers that way, earning a little bit more money, and Was pretty happy doing that. And then I want to say it was a spring of 2010, so we had gotten married in 07. Our first daughter, born in 2009, bought our first house in 2009 and Early 2010,. You know I'm full-on finance manager, writing loans with people for their cars and having a good time and everything seems to be going cool.
Speaker 1:And then, if you remember, back in the 0809 economic times, you know things started to take a bit of a downturn economically and A lot of manufacturers were reorganizing their product lineups and their offerings and General Motors at that time Decided that in its during its reorganization, they were going to Stop building Pontiac cars and Saturn cars. So at that point in time I had been working for ten years At a Saturn store, so that was sort of a you know, we were in the process of trying to buy our first house Remember trying to get a mortgage, with everything blasted all over the news that your manufacturers going to stop building cars. It was it made for a A challenging summer. But but Confrag issuing meetings in January in PS Milan with the average number of ex-major that number isまだmented Wich напрto. Yeah, everything worked out in the end, but it was definitely stressful for a little while. But, like I said, it was 09, we bought our first house.
Speaker 1:09, our first daughter was born. We moved in and I'm in a new job now, the same company I'm working for now, almost 13 years later. So I have continued to work my way up through the car business, different positions. Robin's worked her way up through nursing different positions. 2017, we had a little surprise in 2017. Our second daughter was born, definitely not expecting it, but definitely a blessing in disguise, I guess you could say. So that brings us pretty much up to now you know, oh, out there, I forget.
Speaker 1:Let's rewind a little bit here. Let's say 2007, 2008. I'm working at the Saturn store and this guy gets transferred over to our store. He had been working for the same dealer group at a Chrysler Dodge Jeep, I think store a little bit down across the city, so that store was being sold off, I think, at that time. And so he gets transferred over to our store and it's just a younger kid, I don't know, maybe a few years younger than me. So he comes in and that right there is the birth of a friendship that has lasted and resulted in this dadliest cast. Excuse me, that was when I first met Dave, and the rest is history. There I think we've touched on that story before lunches out and Godfather pizzas and working at various stores together as our families have grown up and we've grown up and we're not just a couple of kids working at a cart dealership, now adults, I guess you could say, with families and kids and responsibilities and the whole nine yards. So that's where that started from.
Speaker 1:It's kind of funny looking back through time. If I hadn't have transferred to Pitt, maybe I would have never met my future wife, who was going to Carlo College at the time. If you know anything about Oakland, you have Carnegie Mellon University, you have University Pittsburgh and you have Carlo College, which I think now is University, all right in a row, so in a very small section of town. You know, had I never not taken, if I hadn't taken my time at Pitt seriously and actually went to class and whatnot, I probably wouldn't have been working in the car dealerships. Maybe, you know, the dadliest cast would have never existed, who knows. It's just kind of funny when you sit back and look at all the things that had to happen to get to where you are today, all the choices you made at the time. You know what would have happened if you made a different choice. But I guess that's kind of it. That's where I came from and, like I said, most of my memories are growing up or great supportive parents and family and the like.
Speaker 1:But I did have some challenges, you know. I guess you know going from two parents to a single parent household in the way we did, given the circumstances with the death of a parent, and death is never easy At any point in your life and it's certainly not easy for, you know, kids to process A lot of times kids, you know, really internalize that stuff and say, hey, what did I do? You know, did I? Did I cause, you know, any of this to happen? And you know it wasn't something either of us talked about very openly for a very long time. But you know it's kind of is what it is. So that's my story. I'm sticking to it. Hopefully you'll give this a listen. Drop some comments. I think I tried to keep it a little organized but I know I bounced around a little bit.
Speaker 1:But if you haven't popped back to listen to episode or part one of this episode or three part series, then please do listen to Dave's story. He tell you about, you know, his experiences and things that he had going on and challenges he had to overcome. I'm grateful for everything that happened along the way sort of shaped or made me who I am today, you know. So part three of this series will be coming soon. We're going to kind of sit down together and compare and contrast and talk about our experiences together and what they've meant to us and how we got through them and to where we are today and kind of recap this challenge. Like I said, the challenge is from the book Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. Check it out. Maybe some of that resonates with you and you can take on a challenge and be at this one where you talk about yourself and your path or any of the other challenges that are in that book.
Speaker 1:So I am going to leave you today with a dad joke, as we have in the past. Did you hear about the T-Rex who sold weapons? No, he was a small arms dealer. So on that note, I think I'll wrap this up Like I said thanks for all your guys' support. This has been a pretty cool journey. When Dave raised his hand and said, hey, I want to do this, I said that sounds like fun. Let's do it. It's been very fun and it has been a learning experience and look forward to many, many more episodes to come. So give us a listen, give us a like, drop some comments and we'll see you for part three.
